To say the I enjoyed Inception would be a gross insult to the word enjoyed.  Critics have largely hailed it, and only good adjectives pop into my mind.  Namely: awesome.  If you haven’t seen the movie, drop what you’re doing, walk out of your office, leave that pot on the stove, abandon your little league game, put down the gun, get dressed and go see it.

The movie imposes a level of tension that isn’t quite panic, but suspense enough to make you truly not want to take a bathroom break.  Layers upon layers of complexity will confuse a few mainstream dullards, but the genius of the plot was enough to make me almost have a primal need to watch it again to clarify a few points. That, and it truly is a visual masterpiece that proves beyond any doubt that 3D is both unnecessary and unwanted.

Inceptionassumes that in the apparently very very near future (or present for that matter), there exists a way for people to manipulate someone’s dreamscape in order to steal information (of course, created by the army). The protagonist is given the previously impossible task of not stealing, but planting an idea. 

“What’s the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules”

In the spirit of this, lets assume that inception is possible.  Furthermore, let us suppose that I am the one supplanting ideas.  Here are a few top priorities:

Nicholas Cage:  My hair is truly terrible.

Gandalf as he leaves Rivendell:  Moria is a bad idea.

Kristen Bell:  I am madly in love with Nick Bender

Kim Jong Ill:  This ‘mess with the South’ business is tiring…

Seth Rogan:  I should stop eating cupcakes… and making movies.

Kate Gosselin:  I should stop making babies.

Either of the Wayons Brothers: My work has never been funny.

Rod Blagojevich:   I should confess and get this over with.

Glenn Beck:  I’m a terrible human being, and need to stop. Everything.

Any teen girl in America: Team Edward will fail. 

Steve Jobs: I should eat… anything…

Lindsay Lohan:  I actually do deserve this.

Kermit: I really could do better.

Julius Caesar: I should stay out of Rome… indefinitely.

City of Oakland: No one’s fooled anymore, we might as well drop the “medical” stipulation.

Arthas Menethil: On second thought, that sword looks like bad news.

Nick Bender: Go to sleep already.

Kristen Bell:  I actually do seriously love Nick Bender

The Unreal Universe
A Book on Physics and Philosophy

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Pages: 292 (282 in eBook) Trimsize: 6" x 9" Illustrations: 34 (9 in color in eBook) Tables: 8 Bibliography: Yes Index: Yes ISBN: 9789810575946

So I don’t know why, but every so often someone feels the need to inform me that I don’t write enough on my blog.  I struggle with this for several reasons.  Namely:

1. No one reads my blog, the fact that people know that I rarely write on my blog is probably just a lucky guess… or digital psychic ability.

2. Just because I spent most of my days doctoring photos of 1920s actors and putting them up on dating sites to get attention for alter egos does NOT mean I have amazing amounts of spare time.  I also have to consider pretending to read, thinking about working out and then not, and drinking red bull then complaining about being tired the next day.  My days are packed.

3.  I live on a boat right now… boats do the equivalent of one thing and one thing only… cookies.  When I say cookies I don’t mean chocolate chip… if it did it’d be the best thing ever invented.  People would run to the shore every time we pulled in like rabid kids running to the ice cream truck… except we have guns.  I’m talking about sea cookies, or “sookies”.  Imagine if you will you’re in a car with your friends and it’d the middle of winter and you’re outside Fred Meyer and your 1982 Carola that has the equivalent of a go-cart engine and you yank up on your e-brake going 40 mph for fun.  Got it?  OK now imagine your go-cart eingine is a nuclear reactor and your Carola is weighs 10 million pounds and your turning radius is about 3 miles.  Also, you’re not with your friends… you’re with zombies.  Repeat this process for 6 months at a time.

Every so often, your sookie spinning leaves the drunken frat boys (“navigators”) bored, so you decide to pull into an armpit.  Oh, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say armpit.  I meant to say Asian country.  Before any of you go off on some rampage about how I’m some rabid jingo, understand that it’s not that I have anything against the people, the language, the food that kills my stomach, the knock-off Nike hats for sale, or the fact that everything smells like cat urine… I just really think that right guard would have a good market here.  That’s right, I’m commenting on economics… supply and demand. 

That last paragraph didn’t have a number… lets give this next one a name instead.

George.  Finally my last reason for not writing in my blog with frequency is because aside from a harassment from a zombie on the ship who is equally as bored as I am, or an random mentioning from an old co-worker I still have a huge crush on, I really just lack motivation. 

If you want me to post more… I require one of the following things:

1. A well drawn picture drawn in crayon, finger-paint, or MS Paint, reacting to this post.

2. Money

3.  A postcard.  Everyone loves postcards

George.  A comment on this post.  I grow tired of deleting Russian spam that isn’t even clever Russian spam.

The Unreal Universe
A Book on Physics and Philosophy

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Pages: 292 (282 in eBook) Trimsize: 6" x 9" Illustrations: 34 (9 in color in eBook) Tables: 8 Bibliography: Yes Index: Yes ISBN: 9789810575946

Even as I look at the title for this blog it makes me uncomforatable.  Is “U” really a word?  I mean I hate it being used to abbrevieate in modern internet slang, but should I hypenate?  Can we really not think of a better way to describe a 180 in a moving vehicle?  A guy I knew named Patrick used to call it “Flipping a B*tch” but that really makes even less sense…

The past few months have done quite a bit lately in the way of coming back around.  To use an extremely cheesey metaphore, my Navy life truly has been in waves. 

At the beginning of this year, I had been working in a position I hated, for someone I liked most of the time, but remained very isolated from the rest of the ship.  This was further compounded when my boss was replaced by a man that I have nothing nice to say about.  His intentions were solely selfish, his methods hostile and demeaning, and his logic pathologically flawed.  If I were someone who kept a black book, he’d occupy a healthy chapter, scrawed with clever musings on how his name is markedly affeminate, or how he walks like a duck and speaks like a soundboard.  I seirously could fit this mans entire scope of conversation into a recording less than 5 minutes of length and draw upon it to fit any situation he finds himself in.  Most frequently used would probably be “god dammit” which apparently is both a confirmation, scold, and natural pause between phrases… similar to “but” or “and” to normal human types.

Working long days for this man had taken it’s toll, and as a matter of principle I kept myself from breaking solely to keep a notion of self worth for myself.  The last true straw of lunacy was being yelled at for missing a small notation of correction on a document after just reading an email telling me my grandfather had died.  Indeed I was “embarassing him” and my life was soon to be made miserable if I didn’t respect his masterful example of perfection.

This is what we’d call the low point of the wave.  This is after my macbook pro decided to stop turning on (out of warranty with a $800 repair), and when I found out I’d have to remain in my position until I transferred from the ship, working for the same lunatic.  Still out of the ashes I still managed to find some hope.  I was very lucky to be one of the few people I know granted permission to attend a funeral outside of “immediate” family.  The stars managed to align in a way that our ship’s schedule would allow me to come back to the ship, I had enough leave time to spend two weeks at home, and I managed to just barely scrounge together the airfare to come home.

And while I was home things started to get better.  Not having to work 17 hour days will do a lot for your morale to be sure, but realizing that five (now four) months really isn’t a terribly long time, and being able to spend time with the people that matter most to me managed to start things up again.

Upon my return to the ship, I was told to report to Reactor department, the same office I had originally reported to on the ship as a junior Sailor, now reporting to as an office manager.  Now no longer under the sphere of influence of he-who-must-not-be-named, and working with and around the few people I’ve managed to trust or respect in the military. 

Also, I bought an iPad… because heck… I deserved it. 

On a much more literal interpretation, our port calls keep being canceled.  Due to the indesicive nature of various levels of our chain of command, we basically (and quite literally today) are spinning cookies in the pacific.  We’ve gotten word we’d be going to X country, only to find out we have to turn around, only to find out we never were going in the first place.  Many chiefs and senior officers have commented that never have they seen so much money invested into so much indecision.  Usually moving a tens-of-billions dollar aircraft involves careful planning and an outlined specific destination.  Purpose. 

We however, are burning our nuculear power, jet fuel, sea salaries, satelite data lines, food stores, and patience, “until further notice”.  This however, doesn’t stress me much, as I only have 127 days left until I’m enjoying life on the Puget Sound, riding in Steven’s Pass, going to Sounders games, and being only a short flight from home should the whim arise.

The biggest U Turn in history would be the U.S. Making it to Semi’s.  I mean, at the way my luck has been improving, let’s just go crazy and hope they’ll win it all.

A Remarkable Book from Wiley-Finance

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