So I don’t know why, but every so often someone feels the need to inform me that I don’t write enough on my blog.  I struggle with this for several reasons.  Namely:

1. No one reads my blog, the fact that people know that I rarely write on my blog is probably just a lucky guess… or digital psychic ability.

2. Just because I spent most of my days doctoring photos of 1920s actors and putting them up on dating sites to get attention for alter egos does NOT mean I have amazing amounts of spare time.  I also have to consider pretending to read, thinking about working out and then not, and drinking red bull then complaining about being tired the next day.  My days are packed.

3.  I live on a boat right now… boats do the equivalent of one thing and one thing only… cookies.  When I say cookies I don’t mean chocolate chip… if it did it’d be the best thing ever invented.  People would run to the shore every time we pulled in like rabid kids running to the ice cream truck… except we have guns.  I’m talking about sea cookies, or “sookies”.  Imagine if you will you’re in a car with your friends and it’d the middle of winter and you’re outside Fred Meyer and your 1982 Carola that has the equivalent of a go-cart engine and you yank up on your e-brake going 40 mph for fun.  Got it?  OK now imagine your go-cart eingine is a nuclear reactor and your Carola is weighs 10 million pounds and your turning radius is about 3 miles.  Also, you’re not with your friends… you’re with zombies.  Repeat this process for 6 months at a time.

Every so often, your sookie spinning leaves the drunken frat boys (“navigators”) bored, so you decide to pull into an armpit.  Oh, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say armpit.  I meant to say Asian country.  Before any of you go off on some rampage about how I’m some rabid jingo, understand that it’s not that I have anything against the people, the language, the food that kills my stomach, the knock-off Nike hats for sale, or the fact that everything smells like cat urine… I just really think that right guard would have a good market here.  That’s right, I’m commenting on economics… supply and demand. 

That last paragraph didn’t have a number… lets give this next one a name instead.

George.  Finally my last reason for not writing in my blog with frequency is because aside from a harassment from a zombie on the ship who is equally as bored as I am, or an random mentioning from an old co-worker I still have a huge crush on, I really just lack motivation. 

If you want me to post more… I require one of the following things:

1. A well drawn picture drawn in crayon, finger-paint, or MS Paint, reacting to this post.

2. Money

3.  A postcard.  Everyone loves postcards

George.  A comment on this post.  I grow tired of deleting Russian spam that isn’t even clever Russian spam.